it's hard sometimes loving you
when i don't know how
i'll be loved when i arrive home
or when i wake with the sun rise
you're like the moon
sometimes full
burning, intense, golden
sometimes cold
a sliver of light
barely visible
in a darkened sky
i can see you
even when the night comes
but can you see me?
i'm here
waving you down
standing on the mountain top
taking you in
but you don't see me
did you even look?
i used to believe
i wasn't worthy
of love
i didn't think
someone could love me
and want to stay
so many younger years spent
yearning
searching
dreaming
hurting
for myself
i'm older now
i've had many loves
most of whom
never saw me
i always spent far too long
trying to make them see
wanting their desire to know me
when I didn't know myself
forcing sight among the blind
straining love from an empty cup
never knowing the difference
between what was full
and what had already been drained
why do i want so badly
for you to see?
why do i need this
from you?
i wish i didn't
i wish this was enough
but my heart is longing again
i can feel the old ache
rising through my ribs
charging into my chest
making it hard to breathe
i always needed you to breathe
when maybe i should have
trained my lungs
to be self reliant
once again
i've found
in my pursuit for you
myself
and in so doing
i now see
that i'm the only one
who's ever
really saw
me
